History of my blogadoos

I’ve had journals when I was younger but I was not really into writing (because I have poor communication skills both in speaking and in writing - as you would probably see later on) so I only had quite a number of entries. What’s funny is that I usually only write when I extreme feel sad, mad, ashamed, and excited. Mostly, it’s full of negative thoughts - emotions that I would really not dare talk about with other people. I thinks it was my way of organizing my thoughts (while crying), and rationalizing things. So where are those journals now? They went to the trash. I actually laughed at myself reading them again but they’re something not worth remembering forever. And I have a terrible handwriting!

In highschool I learned a bit of web design through our computer class. I was really amazed with the HTML codes because they’re only like math equations but could produce creative output. We had a project where we need to pulish our own site (just a simple one) online and I chose Geocities. [memory box: I’ve made a Corrs Fan Page then…] That’s basically where I started to get hooked on using the net.

 By then, I also encourted the online diary of Geocities but I didn’t really liked it so I didn’t pursue ‘writing’ online.

Soon I’ve heard of online journals. I’ve searched the net and came to visit name.blogspot sites and others. The next minute I got my own blog at Blogger running (2003). Who wouldn’t? The programs are user friendly!

 The purpose: 2002 was a big year for me because it was when we experienced the first death in our family. My grandfather died. It was not a cry-yourself-out thing because it’s been years since he was bedridden. It was sad but we know he needs the rest and we know he already fulfilled his purpose here.

 So that’s when I really thought about death and wondered about my own death. Morbid? I don’t think so. I believe that death is really not a difficult thing to accept unless there are still debts to paid (I’m not only talking financially here)

Anyway, I thought of my blog as a secret from all the people close to me. In my blog, I’d write personal letters to each of the significant persons in my life so that anytime I die, I won’t think of like “I was not able to say this to him/her”, etc.  Wouldn’t it be nicer during your eulogy that rather than people listening stuffs about you - they would be listening to how special they are and that they did make a difference to your life? I wan’t them to be happy when I die and for my that’s the best goodbye.

 Well, I haven’t started with that yet.

 Now, I’ve realized that blogging is a fad (?) but fortunately, blogging is not famous among my friends and blockmates and hence I had no problem of having to disclose my blog ad to them. I didn’t wan’t my blog to be just reports of what I do during the day. It would have to contain those that I can’t openly say and explain.

Too superficial? Public diary? - at least an anonymous one. How about judgement? - Judge me all you want , I do care a bit of being judged but at least I can’t see you.

I don’t know if my blog would be informative but I’m not really someone who shares interesting facts (but I love to listen to them).

I’m also not opinionated and persuasive (one of my weakness) so you won’t expect my views on political or social issues (except for humanitarian reasons). I also would like to tabe safe from making political commentaries. Mahirap na baka bigla nalang mag-Martial Law..o kaya biglang alisin ang freedom of speech tapos huhuntingin yung mga blogs tapos maghahanap sila ng mga naniniraw kuno sa gobyerno..hay..hehe.. Not that I’d rather not fight for the right than go to jail.

*Already confused?*

I don’t know how far my blogs will go. I wan’t to be surprised.

First official entry

I’m finally making this my second virtual home. I won’t delete my account at Blogger.com because it’s been my home for almost 3 years and because I like my Blogspot.

But I keep saying that there would be a lot of changes come my 21st birthday. It’s weird to use your chronological age as a marker but I desperately need one because I appear to be a late bloomer. I’m still living in my comfort zone, with a heart of a teenager and still with lots of dreams that awaits to be converted to reality.

So welcome kath. A new home to explore. Change of environment but same old me. Possible new set of blog friends and new set of people to annoy. It’s not that I’d already invite people who know me to visit my page. I’m still not ready to do that  because that may cause me some inhibitions (plus I’d really like to see if someone I know would “accidentally” reach my pages - it’s like its meant to be read by that person)

Amazing world.